Your Sales Team Is Dying (And It's Because Nobody's Actually Listening)
Your Sales Team Is Dying (And It's Because Nobody's Actually Listening)
Look, I'm just gonna say it: Your sales reps are out here doing interpretive dance routines trying to hit quota while your customers are literally screaming "PLEASE JUST HEAR ME" into the void.
And we wonder why churn is eating our lunch.
Last week I sat down with Deb Porter, who's been teaching active listening for 25+ years (yes, that's an actual job, and yes, we apparently need it because we've collectively forgotten how to use our ears). She dropped some truth bombs that honestly made me want to curl up in a ball and reevaluate every conversation I've ever had.
The Part Where I Realize We're All Terrible
Here's the thing that'll keep you up at night: Your employees' #1 desire isn't unlimited PTO or a ping pong table or even more money.
It's good communication.
Good. Communication.
That's it. That's the tweet.
And yet here we are, running around like caffeinated squirrels, having "strategy sessions" where nobody actually hears anyone else, and wondering why our best people keep yeeting themselves out the door.
The Sales Rep Who Cracked The Code (By Accident)
Deb told me about this medical sales rep who was absolutely bombing. Like, quota? What quota? She was too busy being annoyed that people on inbound calls wanted to—gasp—talk about their day instead of just buying the thing and getting off the phone.
Classic mistake. We've all been there. "Just buy the damn product so I can move on with my life."
Deb's advice? Stop. Mirror the feeling. Move on.
Customer: "Man, it's been a rough day."
You: "Oh yeah, I've had those days too. That sounds uncomfortable."
That's it.
Boom. Sale made. Person feels heard. Everyone wins.
The rep got promoted a month later. People were literally asking for her direct line. Why? Because in a world of transactional garbage, she accidentally discovered that treating people like humans is a competitive advantage.
Wild concept, I know.
The Prefrontal Cortex Doesn't Care About Your Quota
Here's where Deb got sciencey on me: You literally cannot actively listen if you're not calm. Your prefrontal cortex—the part that lets you actually hear people—just peaces out when you're stressed.
So every time you're white-knuckling your way through a call thinking "CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE I NEED THIS CLOSE," you've essentially lobotomized your ability to connect.
Great strategy, team. Really nailing it.
Her fix? Smell something nice (lavender, eucalyptus, whatever doesn't make you gag), take a breath, and set an intention to be a functional human being for the next 30 minutes.
Revolutionary stuff, folks. /s
(But also... it works.)
The Body Language Thing That's Ruining Your Retention
Deb had this manager who was always walking around with his phone, doing three things at once while "listening." Classic executive move. We all know this person. Hell, we are this person.
One day she almost quit because of a conflict with another employee. But this manager did something rare: He put his phone away, turned his chair toward her, and actually paid attention.
She stayed.
That's the story. That's how low the bar is. You can save a valued employee by simply... pointing your feet at them and making eye contact.
The bar is in hell, people.
What Active Listening Actually Is (No, It's Not Just Nodding)
Quick definition because apparently we're all confused:
Active listening = Words + Emotion
You need both. The content AND the feeling behind it. If you're only catching one, congratulations, you're having a transaction, not a conversation.
And in case you haven't noticed, B2B is actually H2H (human-to-human), and humans have this annoying habit of having feelings about things. Even in medtech. Even in SaaS. Especially in sales cycles that last 47 years.
The Part Where I Tell You What To Do
If someone on your team comes to you with something important:
Square your shoulders to them. Feet too. Full body commitment. Like you're about to receive a knighthood, not a problem.
Make eye contact. Revolutionary, I know.
If you can't focus right now, SAY SO. "Can we meet in 5 minutes?" is infinitely better than fake-listening while mentally planning your grocery list.
Ask clarifying questions. This shows you're not just waiting for your turn to talk.
Reflect the emotion back. "That sounds frustrating" goes a shockingly long way.
That's it. That's the framework for not losing your best people or botching sales calls.
The Uncomfortable Truth
We're out here obsessing over product-market fit and growth hacking and fundraising rounds, but we've forgotten how to have actual human conversations. And it's costing us—in churn, in lost deals, in employees who'd rather work literally anywhere else.
The good news? Building authentic client connections and high-retention relationships isn't actually that hard. You just have to remember that the person on the other end of the Zoom call is, you know, a person.
With feelings. And a prefrontal cortex that works better when you're not an anxious mess.
Want to hear the full conversation and get more strategies for not sucking at human connection? Check out Episode 19 of The Human Connection Podcast. Deb's got frameworks, stories, and a refreshing lack of corporate BS that'll make you actually want to be better at this stuff.
Because here's the thing: relationship-driven revenue growth isn't a buzzword. It's literally just remembering how to be human in a business world that's forgotten how.
Try it. Your customers, employees, and quota will thank you.
P.S. If you just skimmed this whole post while on another Zoom call, you're exactly the person who needs to watch this episode. I see you. Your team sees you too. And they're not impressed. 😘
Karl Pontau hosts The Human Connection Podcast, where we talk about the stuff that actually matters in business: the humans running it. Because whether you're B2B or B2C, it's really H2H—human to human. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we probably say something that'll make your HR department uncomfortable.
