Your Relationship Garden is Dying (And Your Q4 Numbers Know It)

Heads up: You're planting tomato plants and wondering why you're not getting cucumbers.

This week I sat down with Nicholas Howe—mental health SaaS entrepreneur, relationship architect, and the guy who's apparently been yelling into the void that we're all terrible at human connection—and honestly? He dragged me. He dragged all of us.

And I'm here for it.

The Crumbs-on-the-Bed Moment That'll Make You Rethink Your Entire Leadership Style

Nick told me this story about getting pissed at his kid for getting crumbs on the bed. Normal dad stuff, right? Except he did something most executives won't do when their team misses a deadline or a client relationship goes sideways:

He asked himself why he was actually upset.

Turns out it wasn't about the crumbs. It was about the laundry. It was about the mental load. It was about the expectation management in his own damn head.

And in that 10-second moment of brutal self-awareness, he completely transformed the interaction with his son. Instead of "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PAY ATTENTION," it became "Hey buddy, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to do more laundry. You're okay."

Now imagine doing that in your next stakeholder meeting when someone pushes your buttons.

Mind. Blown.

We're All Playing "Ignore the Bid" Like It's Our Job

Here's the thing that made me want to throw my phone across the room: Nick mentioned this Gottman Institute study about "bids for connection."

Your partner goes "oh!" while reading something on their phone. That's a bid. If you don't respond—if you just scroll past that moment—it takes FIVE positive interactions to undo that one ignored bid.

FIVE.

Now think about your Slack channels. Your stand-ups. Your "thanks for the update" emails that are really just "I didn't read this but want you to think I did" emails.

How many bids are you ignoring every single day with your team? With your clients? With the stakeholders who are watching your burn rate like hawks?

The Garden Metaphor That'll Haunt Your Dreams (In a Good Way)

Nick said something that's been living rent-free in my head since we recorded:

"Leadership is tending a garden. Every plant needs something different every day. If you just let it lay fallow, the garden dies."

You can't force tomato plants to grow faster. You can't plant tomatoes and expect cucumbers. And you sure as hell can't ignore the weeds choking out your best people and wonder why your retention looks like a horror movie.

The game-changing part? You don't need grand gestures. You need consistent attention. Small deposits. Daily maintenance.

This is the human connection in B2B relationships piece that everyone's sleeping on while they're busy optimizing their sales funnels and wondering why their customer churn looks like the Hindenburg.

Building Unshakeable Business Relationships in a Digital Age (AKA: Put Down Your Phone and Look at People)

Nick builds mental health tools—Cups and Spoons app, Host Hub platform—and what he's discovered is kind of beautiful and kind of devastating:

The same principles that build better mental health tools are exactly what we need for authentic client connections.

• Intentional attention

• Genuine care

• Consistent small efforts

Not sexy. Not VC-pitch-deck material. But it's the difference between relationship-driven revenue growth and churning through clients like they're disposable.

The medtech and health tech stakeholder engagement game is already brutal enough without you actively nuking your relationships by treating every interaction like a transaction.

The Self-Awareness Flex You're Not Making (But Should Be)

When I asked Nick about building these habits—this whole proactive client relationship management mindset shift—he got real:

"It starts with being aware of when you're getting upset. Not volcanic exploding angry, but fidgety, agitated, edgy."

Then you walk it back. Where did this come from? What's the actual trigger?

Because here's the kicker: Once you know your triggers, you can shift your mindset BEFORE you blow up the relationship.

You can transform company culture through relationships just by doing this one thing: recognizing your own emotional patterns before you project them onto everyone else.

Why This Matters for Your Scaling Nightmare... Er, Journey

You're trying to grow in this absolute dumpster fire of a market. Your investors want hockey stick growth. Your board wants profitability. Your team wants work-life balance. Your clients want white-glove service at DIY prices.

And you're over here wondering why building high-retention client relationships feels impossible when you can't even remember the last time you had a real conversation with anyone.

The companies crushing it right now? They're not just optimizing their customer advocacy programs and calling it a day. They're rebuilding the human fabric in business, one micro-moment at a time.

They're sending the meme that made them think of a client. They're noticing when someone's off in a meeting. They're acknowledging bids for connection instead of auto-piloting through every interaction.

The 5-Second Action You Can Take Right Now

Before your next meeting—any meeting—ask yourself:

"What's one bid for connection I could acknowledge today?"

That's it. That's the whole tweet.

Because sustainable business expansion strategies don't come from your pitch deck. They come from the trusted advisor relationships you build by actually giving a damn about the humans you're working with.

Watch the full episode to hear Nick break down his 9-year journey to self-awareness, why emotional intelligence in leadership isn't optional anymore, and how his Cups and Spoons app is basically relationship CrossFit for couples (but in a good way).

Your tomato plants are waiting.

P.S. If you're sitting here thinking "this is great but I don't have time for this feelings nonsense," congratulations—you've just identified your trigger. Now go reread the crumbs-on-the-bed story and ask yourself what you're ACTUALLY upset about. (Spoiler: It's probably the laundry. It's always the laundry.)

Karl Pontau hosts The Human Connection Podcast, where we talk about the stuff that actually matters in business: the humans running it. Because whether you're B2B or B2C, it's really H2H, human to human. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we probably say something that'll make your HR department uncomfortable.