Your Client Gifts Suck (And Everyone Knows It)

Look, I'm about to hurt some feelings, but someone needs to say it: That generic fruit basket you're sending your clients? That wine bottle with your logo slapped on it? That tin of popcorn you panic-ordered on December 23rd because "oh shaet, we should probably do something for our customers"?

They're not just forgettable. They're actively telling your clients you don't give a damn about them.

And before you get defensive and click away—stick with me. Because I just talked to Deborah Myers, CEO of Virtu Art, and she's about to blow up everything you think you know about building business relationships in the digital age.

The Bourbon Barrel Pen That Changed Everything

Deborah told me a story that made me realize most of us are completely farcking this up.

One of her clients had a customer who loved bourbon. But here's the thing—everyone knew this guy loved bourbon. His desk probably looked like a liquor store. So sending another bottle? That's lazy. That's "I Googled you for 30 seconds" energy.

Instead, Deborah found an artisan who handcrafts pens from decommissioned bourbon barrels. They tracked down barrels from this guy's favorite brand, hand-carved a pen with his initials, included a certificate of authenticity, and shipped it with a handwritten note.

The response? An email with the subject line: "WOW" (all caps, btw).

And here's the kicker—every single time this executive uses that pen, he thinks about Deborah's client. That's not a gift. That's a relationship-driven revenue growth machine disguised as a writing instrument.

You're Not Listening (And It's Killing Your Retention)

Here's where it gets uncomfortable.

Deborah nailed it when she said: "Most businesses know very little about their customers."

Ouch. But also... true?

We all start conversations with icebreakers: "Got plans for the weekend?" "Going on vacation?" "How was your trip?"

But then what do we do? We completely ignore the farcking answers because we're dying to get to the "real" business conversation. We ask questions we don't actually want to hear answered.

It's like going on a date and spending the whole time talking about your quarterly projections. Newsflash: That's why they're not calling you back.

The brutal truth is that your clients are telling you everything you need to know about them—their hobbies, their dreams, their quirks, what makes them light up—and you're too busy thinking about your pitch to write any of it down.

The "Check the Box" Disaster

Deborah calls it "check the box gifting," and if you've ever sent:

• A fruit basket

• A branded wine bottle

• A tin of popcorn

• Literally anything you bulk-ordered because it was December 20th and you panicked

...congratulations, you've actively damaged your client relationships.

Because here's what those gifts say: "We care so little about you as a human being that we couldn't be bothered to spend 5 minutes thinking about what you actually like. But hey, tax write-off!"

It's worse than sending nothing. At least nothing doesn't scream "you're just a number to us."

The Framework: Be Interested, Not Interesting

Deborah dropped this wisdom bomb that should be tattooed on every business development person's forehead:

"Strive to be interested, not interesting."

The whole game changes when you realize that authentic client connections aren't built by being the smartest person in the room. They're built by actually giving a shaet about the people across from you.

Want to know how to create sticky customers who stay longer, refer frequently, and wouldn't leave you even if a competitor offered them free services?

Start. Actually. Listening.

Take notes during your conversations. Not just about their business needs—about them. Their kids' soccer games. Their upcoming trip to Italy. Their obsession with vintage motorcycles. Their financial goals (like that couple who wanted a beach vacation and a lake house—Deborah got them personalized gifts around both dreams, and they posted about it on LinkedIn).

This is humanizing business relationships 101, and most of you are still stuck in transactional hell.

The Architect Who Won With a Thank You Note

One more story that'll make you question your entire client success strategies for scaling companies:

An architecture firm was bidding on a major project. They weren't the top choice. But after their presentation, the partner sat down and wrote a handwritten thank you note—not an email, an actual pen-to-paper note—thanking them for the opportunity and offering to answer any questions.

They won the contract.

The decision-makers literally said the handwritten note was what pushed them over the edge.

A farcking thank you note beat out firms with better portfolios, lower prices, or fancier presentations.

Because in a world where everyone's optimizing for efficiency and automation, human connection in B2B relationships is your unfair advantage.

The Real ROI of Actually Giving a Damn

Here's what happens when you nail this:

Your clients become advocates. They post about you on LinkedIn. They tell their friends. They stay with you even when competitors offer better deals. One of Deborah's client success stories: a guy who said he'd turn down free insurance because the relationship and personalized service from his current provider was worth more than any price advantage.

Read that again. FREE. And he'd still say no.

That's the power of proactive client relationship management that actually treats people like humans instead of line items on a spreadsheet.

Stop Being Boring, Start Being Human

Look, I get it. You're busy. You're scaling. You've got KPIs to hit and boards to report to and fires to put out.

But if you're wondering why your client churn is higher than it should be, why your referrals have dried up, why that competitor keeps poaching your customers... maybe it's because you're treating sustainable business expansion like a spreadsheet exercise instead of a relationship-building opportunity.

The companies winning right now? They're the ones who realize that in an increasingly automated world, the human touch is what makes them irreplaceable.

So here's your homework: Pull up your client list. Write down three personal things you know about each of them that have nothing to do with their business. If you're drawing blanks, you've got work to do.

Because your competitors are out there handcrafting bourbon barrel pens and writing thank you notes while you're bulk-ordering cheese plates.

Want to Hear More?

Deborah and I go way deeper in the full episode—including more stories about gifts that transformed client relationships, the psychology behind why personalization works, and tactical advice for scaling this approach even in larger organizations.

[Watch the full conversation here] and learn how to build unshakeable business relationships that turn clients into raving fans.

Because at the end of the day, whether you're B2B, B2C, or whatever acronym makes you feel important—it's really H2H. Human to human.

And humans don't get excited about fruit baskets.

P.S. — Still convinced your generic corporate swag and holiday wine bottles are "fine"? Cool. Keep doing that. Your competitors who are actually listening to their clients will appreciate you making their jobs easier. Meanwhile, there's a bourbon barrel pen out there with someone's name on it, and every time they use it, they're thinking about the person who actually gave enough of a shaet to pay attention. But sure, your logo'd stress ball is probably just as memorable. 🙄

Karl Pontau hosts The Human Connection Podcast, where we talk about the stuff that actually matters in business: the humans running it. Because whether you're B2B or B2C, it's really H2H—human to human. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we probably say something that'll make your HR department uncomfortable.