Your Marketing Probably Makes People Feel Gross (And Here's Why That's Costing You Everything)

Red alert: Most of you are accidentally acting like corporate sociopaths.

I sat down with Dr. Christopher Phelps—dentist turned ethical persuasion expert and certified trainer under behavioral scientist Dr. Robert Cialdini—and he broke down exactly why your "growth strategies" feel like a sales pitch from someone who learned business from watching Glengarry Glen Ross too many times.

The man literally said: When the cat's away, the mice will play.

And before you roll your eyes at what sounds like your grandma's Pinterest wisdom, let me explain why this old-ass saying is about to skull-farck your entire approach to client relationships.

The Cat Is Your Threat of Force (And Your Clients Know It)

Here's the thing about manipulation, coercion, and all those "proven sales tactics" you picked up from that bro-marketing webinar: They work. For about five minutes.

Chris broke it down beautifully. When you're the cat—the threat, the intimidator, the "do this or else" energy—your mice (read: clients, employees, stakeholders) will absolutely do what you want. But the second you're not watching? They bail. They ghost. They leave a scathing review that starts with "Well, at first everything seemed great, but..."

That's because you didn't persuade them. You forced them.

And in case you're wondering why your client retention looks like a leaky bucket, or why your team needs constant micromanaging, or why your NPS score makes you want to fake your own death and start a pottery business in Vermont—this is why.

Real Persuasion Gives People Control (Not the Illusion of It)

Chris dropped this gem that honestly should be tattooed on every sales team's forehead:

"Persuasion is when you receive a message that changes your perspective, which changes your thinking, which changes your behavior. And you chose to do that. Nobody forced you."

Read that again. Slower this time. Maybe highlight it. Send it to your VP of Sales who still thinks "closing techniques" are a personality trait.

The difference between persuasion and manipulation isn't just semantic corporate therapy-speak. It's the difference between building authentic client connections and running a digital chop shop where relationships go to die.

When you actually persuade someone—when you give them real choice and control—the behavior sticks. They don't need you hovering. They don't revert the second you're not in the room. They continue the behavior because they chose it.

This is how you build relationship-driven revenue growth instead of that exhausting hamster wheel of constantly hunting for new clients because you can't keep the ones you have.

The Three Questions That Separate Leaders from Manipulative Arseholes

Chris gave us a framework so simple it's almost offensive that more of you aren't using it. Three questions to ask before you deploy any persuasive tactic:

1. Is it true?

Groundbreaking, I know. But seriously—are you bullshaetting people? Because the market is drowning in bullshaet right now, and people's bullshaet detectors are set to maximum sensitivity.

2. Is it natural to the situation?

Chris told this story about a dental conference where 10 people jumped up to sign up for something, creating this massive wave of social proof. Inspiring, right?

Wrong. Those first 10 people were paid to stand up.

The whole room went from "inspired" to "icky" the second people found out. That's the difference between organic enthusiasm and staged manipulation. And you feel it in your bones when something's been manufactured.

3. Is it a net win-win?

Not "technically" a win-win where you convince yourself that getting someone to buy your overpriced solution to a problem they didn't know they had counts as helping them.

An actual win-win. Where there's objective benefit for both sides, and objective cost for both sides if it doesn't happen.

Chris puts it beautifully in his world: "If a patient doesn't move forward with treatment today because I didn't influence them properly, that dental condition doesn't just stop. It gets worse. And it will cost them more time, money, and pain."

What's the cost to your clients if they say no to what you're offering? If you can't answer that honestly, you're probably selling snake oil.

The Long Game Nobody Wants to Play (But Everyone Should)

Here's the part where Chris absolutely nailed the disconnect in modern business:

"If somebody has a good experience with you, they'll tell maybe 1-2 people. But if they have a bad experience? They'll tell everyone."

You can get away with manipulation in the moment. Maybe even for a while. But in this era of Glassdoor reviews, Reddit threads, and LinkedIn call-out posts, it's only a matter of time before somebody figures out you're full of shaet.

And when they do? Good luck rebuilding that trust. Spoiler alert: You probably won't.

This is why sustainable business expansion strategies aren't built on growth hacking and conversion optimization dashboards. They're built on actual human relationships where people feel good about choosing to work with you.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Scaling

If your business model requires you to manipulate people into saying yes, you don't have a scaling client success team. You have a churn factory with good marketing.

The companies that win long-term—the ones building unshakeable business relationships that survive market disruptions and competitor discounts—are the ones treating persuasion like the art form it is.

They're not tricking people into buying. They're genuinely changing perspectives. They're addressing real problems. They're creating situations where saying yes is the obvious choice because it's actually in the client's best interest.

Revolutionary concept, I know.

Watch the Damn Episode

This conversation with Chris went deep into the seven principles of influence, why human connection in B2B relationships beats automation every single time, and how to actually build high-retention client relationships without feeling like you need a shower afterward.

If you're tired of the constant hustle, the micromanaging, the client churn, and that nagging feeling that maybe your business is built on a foundation of corporate manipulation—this episode is your wake-up call.

Watch the full episode here because reading this blog post is like getting the CliffsNotes for a masterclass. You're missing the good stuff.

P.S. I can already hear some of you: "But Karl, we need to hit our numbers! We can't just wait around for people to feel good about buying from us!"

Cool story. How's that working out for you? How's your retention? Your referral rate? Your team's morale? Your ability to sleep at night without wondering when the bottom's going to fall out?

The short-term gains from manipulation are always paid back with interest in long-term pain. Always. You're not special. Your market isn't different. And that "everyone else does it" excuse is exactly why consumer trust is at an all-time low.

But hey, keep doing what you're doing. I'm sure another "innovative growth strategy" webinar will fix everything.

Or—and I'm just spitballing here—you could try actually giving a shaet about whether your clients feel good about choosing you. Wild thought, I know.

P.P.S. If this hit a nerve, good. That means you're paying attention. Now go watch the episode and figure out which side of the ethical line you're actually on. Spoiler: If you're not sure, you're probably on the wrong side.

Karl Pontau hosts The Human Connection Podcast, where we talk about the stuff that actually matters in business: the humans running it. Because whether you're B2B or B2C, it's really H2H—human to human. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we probably say something that'll make your HR department uncomfortable.